Aphrodisiac Party

I’m sure you’ve all been invited to those “parties” where really your  friends want you to come and buy stuff so that they can get free stuff? or make some extra money ( if they are the rep)?  And you know those parties that sell the adult toys?  and it’s usually a bunch of middle aged women sitting around eating penis shaped foods?  Yeah, you all know the ones I’m talking about.  Well, we had one of those, but ours was a little different.  See, a friend of mine recently became a rep for Passion parties which meant we have all taken turns hosting a party which means we have all taken turns going to each others houses, drinking wine, snacking on penis shaped foods and passing vibrators around politely touching them to our noses, licking things off our own arms, and sniffing each others elbows…

When it was my turn to host the go round  I thought maybe it would be nice if the menfolk could come too, I mean why not?  Guys like sex, guys like robots, and they were getting a little sick of being left at home while all of the ladies met up.  But I didn’t think penis shaped foods would be quite appropriate for this mixed lot.  And I didn’t feel like making a bunch of boobie shaped foods either.  It took me forever to decide what to do and then it hit me!  Aphrodisiacs!  It’s sexy, it’s something men and women would enjoy, and it’s educational (I’m just a big nerd at heart!)  And…. It was a hit!  The girls loved it, the guys loved it, the party rep adored it.

The menu was fairly simple finger foods, savory snacks and desserts, most of which were super easy and some which could be made ahead, the only last minute thing we had to do was the deep fried spicy chicken.  I didn’t take pictures at the party, but I do have the menus ( food and drink) and the little cards I made up about the aphrodisiacs to share.  I strew the little fun fact cards about the table, but I think they would be good blown up and taped to the wall above the table or printed on both sides and hung on a strings over the food as well as a chandelier type thingy (I’m not so good with the artsy decorative stuff).  ( Sorry, it’s hard to read on the images, Printable PDFs of the menus and signs are included at the bottom of this post)aphrodesiac menu

I like to only serve one type of liqueur at a party several different ways ( it’s cheaper this way and just as fun)  And of course I center it around my favorite, The Captain as often as possible!

aphrodesiac party drinksAnd little signs of all of the aphrodisiacs offered and what they do / why they’re aphrodisiacs!aphrodesiac signs_Page_4
aphrodesiac signs_Page_1 aphrodesiac signs_Page_2 aphrodesiac signs_Page_3

 

So next time you need to host one of “those parties” why not serve aphrodisiacs instead of little penises?  and let the guys come along too? (I have to say this party and the 1st one we all went to were the most fun, probably because it wasn’t the same ole’ same ole!)

aphrodesiac signs

aphrodesiac menu

aphrodesiac party drinks

 

 

 

I look ridiculous…

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Well, maybe not at this moment, but overall that is my feeling whenever I try something new with my hair or my clothes.  Pretty much I have it stuck in my head that if I’m not wearing basic jeans and a regular’old t-shirt, that everyone around me must be looking at me and thinking “She looks Utterly ridiculous!)  

 

I used to not think this way, but years of criticism from my asshole-ex-husband, my lovely little children, and my matronly mother. Have all taken their tole.  In high school I wore what I want, my daddy said I was beautiful and I felt confident and happy in whatever I choose to wear.  It’s just as an adult that I feel like others are staring at me in disgust because I am to tall (I’m not I’m only 5″6), that I am to fat (umm, I am normal sized thank you very much, not a starving model…) and because who knows why else!  Now this has never applied to my makeup choices – bright red lipstick, eyes done and such are a normal everyday routine for me,  nor my shoe choices ( no one seems to have a problem when I wear 4 inch heals (or higher) with my jeans and t-shirts, or if I wear big ole muckboots.

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But, it’s time to change, I mean if not now will I ever? For my birthday instead of my mom buying me clothes that she feels I should wear ( nice clothes mind you designer names, the newest fashions) but not what I want to wear she gave my money to buy my own clothes (Hallelujah!) I always feel bad when she send me clothes I don’t want but have no way of returning, especially when I’m in need of new clothes and on a tight budget, so I just wore what she sent me.  I have no idea why my 72 year old mother thinks I should dress like her (she would routinely buy things in doubles that she liked, 1 for her, 1 for me).  I had asked for the Bella Donna Dress by PinUp Girl Clothing for my birthday and She quickly shut me down – quickly telling me I would look like a Hussy.  Really Mom?  A hussy?  Why because it’s red? ( She’s bought me red clothes before).  Well, she sent me $ instead so internet shopping I went!

 

I looked at all kinds of websites, amazon, and ebay. Then I had the Lumberjack look at my selections I had narrowed it down to so he could tell me how ridiculous I would look to (which he didn’t) and when I mentioned how ridiculous I thought I was going to look and he flat out told me I wouldn’t.  So anyways long story short I am getting pretty new dresses in the mail any day now!

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Oh and I made a skirt.  And I wore it, and no one thought I looked ridiculous, or if they did they didn’t say anything to me! Yippee!

Lace me up!

Orchard Corset - Tightlacing

Orchard Corset – Tightlacing

I spent the better part of my teenage years laced into the tightest bodices I could bear, all which were made deliberately 4 inches to small with the help of my friends and some good old ducttape!  As I got older and my ex took control of my life I slowly stopped wearing them and going to events where they were considered acceptable attire.   I slowly melded into the life of a suburban Stepford wife and a life of jeans and t-shirts.  Always lusting after the retro dresses, missing  my big poofy swing skirt dress with the painted on dancing corn which  mysteriously disappeared, and watched as my bodices and chemises were discarded.

Over the past few years I have slowly reclaimed my bright red lipstick and for a time even my high heels (the higher the better), but then this long never ending winter arrived where the only shoes that one could even think about wearing out of doors looked more like what an Eskimo might don than what you might find on Jessica Rabbit.

But with the spring finally deciding to show itself, I discovered what I think I have secretly been longing for.  A corset.  All of those dresses I could wear so easily as a teenager no longer worked with my momma body.  My ribs had spread, my tummy was squishy and everything just looked not so nice…

After I read extensively about it, I decided to bite the bullet and order my first one from Orchard Corset.  While I eagerly awaited it’s arrival, I subconsciously  no actually I was just really bored) looked at every woman I saw and thought you know 85% of women would probably look much better with some kind of supportive undergarments on.  Myself not being the exception.

I laced up for the 1st time on Monday and oh my Goodness!  I feel like my clothes fit so much better! And I truly feel like I might be finally  be able to get back to the fashion style which I have loved and missed for so many years!

Life…

is an interesting journey, where one never knows where it’s going to lead.    I have been thinking lately how I might want to start writing again, chronicling my journey through uncharted waters and the dips and turns life takes and how we get where we are.

At times I have sugar coated my life, I’m not sure if it was because I didn’t want to see the truth of it, or I didn’t want others to see the truth of it.  I have over-shared at times and under-shared at others (is that even possible in our modern day world of technology, social media and the internet?).  I have thought about privacy issues, mine, my children’s, and my significant others.  How what I might write could possibly affect how others see me, my business, and who knows what else?  The mind is a deep and wonderous place once you start wandering down the rabbit hole of what if’s…

My mother has encouraged me to start writing again, if  only for her own reasons (she always dreamed of being an author).  But I am not interested in pursue-ing writing as a career.  God knows I can’t spell worth a darn ( thank you google spell check!) and my grammer is atrocious!  But I feel the need, a calling from inside to put down something, a way to share and possibly connect with others who also feel as if they are a small  boat bobbing along in the great big seas of life, looking for kindred souls and those who might understand the craziness we put our selves through in an attempt to find happiness and peace in this crazy turbulent world.  So I am ready to share my journey yet again…

Master Bedroom floor redo

Turns out our 130 year old Hemlock floor cleans up real nice!

When we bought the new house we were unsure of which floors we would be able to save and which ones should really be covered up or replaced.  It took a lot of work and many steps but the Master bedroom floor now looks gorgeous!   And I wouldn’t trade it for a new hardwood floor, a laminate floor or carpet for anything!

This is how to Master bedroom floor looked before.  The photograph really makes the finish look horrible!

The floors before

The first thing we did was clean it like crazy (sweep, vacuum  hand scrub and then vacuum/scrape out all the cracks on the floor to get rid of all of the years of accumulated dirt we could, especially in the cracks of the floor.  Then we started filling.  I used a 1 inch putty knife and Minwax stainable wood filler.   We used probably 5 of these big tubs in the room.  Filled floor cracks  Using the 1 inch putty knife we tried not to overfill to much to have a ton to sand.  It took 4 afternoons to get to this step and then we were ready to sand!  At first we thought we could use our hand sander with a fine grit, then maybe with a rough grit, then realized that we were wrong and really needed a big floor sander, luckily our local Lowe’s has then in stock to rent for under $40 a day.  hardwood floor sanding  We followed the directions starting with 37 grit and working our way to 80 and then went in the corners and the edges we couldn’t reach with the hand sander  and a bit of hand sanding .  This process was surprisingly dust free!  Not anything at all like sanding drywall mud :p  sanded floor  When our floor was where we called “done”  it was not 100% new looking.  Our floors were bowed and warped from years of being unheated, have filled gaps between each board and aren’t as secure as a brand new floor, but we weren’t going for new in this floor, just nice – we didn’t want to remove the years of character from the floor, only the years of neglect. Sanded Hemlock floor close up  The next step was to tack cloth the whole thing and then start applying stain.  I choose a very dark brown stain, And we applied it as instructed.Applying stain february 253  After the stain we applied 2 coats of a semi gloss poly.  I wanted to go for a high gloss but was cautioned against it because of the rough nature of the old wood (that every little imperfection would reflect the light differently and make it look bad)  I am so glad I took the experts advice and we couldn’t be happier with the end results! finished _IGP1870